(CMR) Is your child awkward in social situations and has difficulty speaking or making eye contact? They may have social anxiety disorder (SAD), also known as social phobia.
Social anxiety is more than just shyness. It is a medical condition that causes people to feel fear and anxiety in social situations. People with SAD may worry about being judged or watched by others. They may also experience feelings of self-consciousness, embarrassment, or awkwardness and have difficulty speaking or making eye contact.
Children with the disorder feel extremely uncomfortable in social settings, and in some cases, it can hinder their ability to perform everyday tasks. According to Parents Magazine, Here's everything parents need to know.
While it's understandably expected to feel self-conscious sometimes, like when speaking in front of the class, excessive shyness could indicate a social anxiety disorder.
Parents Magazine writer Nicole Harris explains that the key feature is excessive fear or worry about how others will evaluate them in social situations. Their anxiety about this social judgment interferes with their daily functioning, causing them to refuse to go on playdates or go out with the family. Even going to school, talking to peers, ordering at restaurants, and using public restrooms can be stressful because they worry about what others will think.
That's why parents should learn the telltale symptoms of social anxiety and seek appropriate treatment when necessary. Keep reading to learn more about the causes and symptoms and how to help with social anxiety in kids.
Social Anxiety Symptoms in Kids
Social anxiety symptoms fall into three categories: behavioral, emotional, and physical. Here are some of the most common signs of social anxiety in kids.
Behavioral symptoms
-Avoids triggering situations like going to public restrooms, talking to teachers, or attending birthday parties.
-Regularly asking questions for reassurance (“What if I say the wrong thing in class?” “What do I do if something is embarrassing?”)
-Difficulty making friends or talking to peers.
-Refusal to speak in certain situations.
-Speaking softly and avoiding eye contact.
-Refusal to go to school, in extreme cases.
-Throwing tantrums or acting clingy before/during social events.
Emotional symptoms
-Fear of meeting or talking to people. The distress can start days or weeks before an event.
-Constant worry about embarrassment or judgment by others, including worry about appearing anxious.
-Extreme self-consciousness in social or performance settings.
-Feeling helpless, sad, or angry in social settings.
Physical symptoms
-Sweating or blushing
-Trembling or shaking
-Feeling sick to their stomach
-Experiencing dizziness or rapid heart rate
These often occur in social situations that children perceive as scary, and they can lead to panic attacks in extreme cases.
It's important to note that the disorder presents differently in all children. Some have symptoms in all social situations, while others have specific performance triggers, like eating in public or speaking in class.
Social Anxiety Treatment at Home
Kids with social anxiety may not show signs or symptoms at home, so parents might not realize anything is wrong. Teachers might also dismiss social anxiety as typical shyness. This may explain why some children can go for years without a diagnosis.
If your child displays signs of social anxiety, check out these at-home treatment options and learn when to see a professional for therapy or medication.
Explain what to expect
For example, if your child is nervous about attending a new school, you can help by giving detailed descriptions. (“I will drive you there at 8 a.m. and pick you up at 1 p.m. You will meet your teacher and classmates. Our neighbor Logan will be there.”) Knowing what to expect can make a huge difference, says Dr. Franklin.
Talk with your child
You can also try addressing your child's fears directly. Ask them exactly what's making them nervous, then brainstorm solutions accordingly. For example, if they're worried about talking to other students at lunch, come up with some go-to conversation topics beforehand. Also, teach your child ways to self-soothe in case anxiety hits (such as deep breathing, visualization, etc.).
Practicing what to do
Although you want to protect your child, don't let them avoid their triggers altogether. Ordering their meal at a restaurant, for example, might not seem like a big deal in the short term, but it reinforces their fears. To overcome this worry, your child can try taking baby steps: They can start by saying “thank you” when the server drops off their meal. Then, after a few weeks, they can order their drink. Eventually, they might feel comfortable ordering their whole dinner.
Therapy and Medication
Children with persistent social anxiety that interrupts daily life might need professional help. Ask your pediatrician or school guidance counselor for a referral to a licensed psychologist or child and adolescent psychiatrist. The professional will decide if your child needs treatment, which is usually cognitive behavior therapy (CBT).
Talk therapy
CBT is a type of talk therapy that “works with the kids on understanding how their thoughts play into their emotions,” says Dr. Franklin. It teaches children to reframe their thoughts to decrease the intensity of their anxiety. Kids will also learn deep breathing, mindfulness, meditation, and other relaxation exercises to cope with their symptoms.
Medication
If your child doesn't respond to talk therapy alone, your health care provider might recommend medications like selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). Medications are often used in the short term to make psychotherapy more effective.